Corporate Instructional Art

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the owners of our office building for reminding me how to urinate. Not only had I mysteriously forgotten after wielding a penis for 28 years, but I deeply appreciate the quality of this illustration above in sparking the memory. Furthermore, I now know that in order to control the apparently 87 streams of urine flowing from my member, I only need to hold my penis and show it who's boss. So to sum it up, boys: Hold your dick while peeing... Do not stretch your back and grasp the wall. And if peeing with a friend, remember that 'crossing swords' will invariably result in a pee-soaked floor (not on illustration, but is in my version).

Incidentally, I haven't seen a tub in the office restroom, so calling it a bathroom is really wrong and weird. And what's with "protocol"? I think "etiquette" would have sufficed.

When I mentioned this poster to a female friend, she asked if there was one in the women's restroom as well. I'm gay, not transgendered or intersex... I don't know. Anyhow, she went on to say that women are usually more germaphobic than men and as a consequence go to some lengths to avoid encountering germs. For example, hovering over the toilet or making toilet paper toilet covers. The irony she said is that this often results in bad aim, pee all over the place and urine soaked paper toilet covers strewn about, making many a women's restroom (especially in bars) quite unsanitary. I was shocked.