Nature sedates me

I went to see a naturopath the other day. I did so more out of curiosity than anything, but I also do want to improve my health after the years of abuse my body has withstood.

The initial appointment is 90 minutes long and involves a lengthy discussion about one's physical and mental states. I found that I downplayed certain things, like my drinking binges, since I felt a bizarre shame sitting across from a svelte, super-healthy lesbo. Having said that, I didn't pretend that I eat granola 24/7, swim in mango juice and hike to Nunavut on a down day either.

Anyhow, I actually enjoyed the naturopath experience and she gave me some feasible tips for better health. One thing she recommended was that I take some Melatonin before bed for a period of time to improve my sleeping habits (which are more of a disaster than Yanni). For the past two nights, I've followed her advice and have slept quite well. Problem is, there is a half-hour period before I fall asleep and after I've taken the Melatonin when I am deleriously drowsy, physically uncoordinated and restless. The result is that I look like an exhausted walrus / psychopath during this time. Then, just as suddenly as this has come on, I am peacefully asleep. Someone seeing this could be quite disturbed by the Jekyll and Hyde switch. So, peeps, my tip is: Only take Melatonin if you are alone or with people you can fart in front of.