Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Extreme Makeover: Special Genet Edition

I am often plagued by random and surreal visions which amuse me very much. Usually I keep them to myself or share them with a select group of people who I think will appreciate them and at some level understand their underlying meaning. I had one today...

The parking lot attendant at our office building is a semi-toothless man named Abraham. We have re-named him Abrahamster because he has the tooth thing going on, he's pudgy and strangely cute. The poor guy spends his entire day in a makeshift booth outside looking very bored. Occasionally, you can hear the strains of Eastern music coming from his HQ as he sings to try and keep himself awake.

Today, I pictured an over-enthusiastic crew of WASP renovators suddenly arriving and making over his booth. All they would know is that this man's name is Abrahamster, failing to realize it is a nickname. In their complete ignorance and superficiality they decide to run with the hamster theme to make Abrahamster's work environment 'fun', when really all wants to do is practise medicine like he used to back home.

The next day, we arrive to see an enormous hamster running wheel, a newspaper carpet and woodchips, a barrel of popcorn, a salt lick, bells hung from the ceiling and an elaborate straw mechanism for water. In the corner, looking absolutely cramped, baffled and embarrassed, Abraham tries to adapt to this "new normal" and regrets ever immigrating to Canada. The Extreme Makeover crew, however, feel totally self-satisfied and noble.

5 Comments:

At 4:39 PM, Blogger PDD said...

I like this vision in your head very much. It reminds me of the one you had of blossom, sick while watching the Oscars, and then for a split second she interupts the oscars appearing on the television screen as she exactly is on the couch. But of course, this vision is more elaborate.

Very well done.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger PDD said...

I'm still laughing at your visions. This is too hillarious!

 
At 7:40 PM, Anonymous bert said...

A fine summary of the basic aesthetic approach of the folks at Makeover. You like jazz? Well then you'll certainly like these musical notes airbrushed onto your wall and... wait for it... a bed that looks like a piano! Yeah, we knew you'd love that. We're good that way. The saxophonic umbrella stand and garden fountain with water spitting out of Dizzy Gillespie's charming bulgy cheeks are really just icing. No need to thank us. Just thank god.

 
At 3:21 AM, Blogger Genet said...

Bert, I think I would like a Dizzy Gillespie fountain and that scares me. How fun and musical would that be?

I think we should seriously try to imagine how the Makeover peeps would interpret something really obscure... like, say, renovating Antonin Artaud's flat while also reflecting his 'funny' ideas about theatre. Goodbye smiles! I need to grow up.

 
At 6:34 AM, Blogger J-Co said...

I can't beleive I'm going to admit this:

That show has recently come to UK Cable TV and they have gone beserk having whole weekends of the show. A few weeks back I spent an entire sunday watching it and crying every "reveal". Literally sobbing my heart out. That's not really like me and I couldn't really pinpoint why I was so emotional. I can only imagine that

a) I was premenstrual
b) they were tears of shame and embarrasment
c) there is some wierd subliminal messaging goin on during reveal much like Halloween H20.

 

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