Monday, November 07, 2005

Mantra: Always 'Save to Drafts'

For the past two years or so, I have gotten into the satisfying yet dangerous hobby of writing hate e-mails. Let me explain... The sequence of events usually goes like this: spend the evening with the Boyf… drink too much/am suffering from fatigue… get home.... “remember” something about the evening which triggers a memory of something in the past the Boyf did that pissed me off… become irate… turn computer on… write a scathing e-mail to the Boyf declaring our break-up… re-read e-mail… try to remember why I’m angry… fail to remember… Reason gently tweaks my nipples… save e-mail to ‘Drafts’ folder… go to bed.

To date, I have avoided accidentally sending these e-mails to their intended recipient. While I do like living on the edge, this to me is a most risky habit. I rarely look over these e-mails again, but the other night I thought it would be fun to do so. One of them said: “If Lake Ontario was full of Pepto Bismol and I drank the whole fucking thing you would still make me nauseous”. These hate e-mails are in no way restricted to the Boyf. Family members are my second favourite one-way pen-pals. I thought that somehow this reeked of passive-aggressiveness, but since I’m the only one that knows they exist, I think I can just call this activity cathartic. If they ever did receive one, I would seriously have to enable the parental controls on my computer and ignore my feelings of guilt and panic to somehow convince them that I had a severe lapse in judgement and was trying to somehow be "funny".

Seriously, though, I have to be more careful. I love the Boyf too much to accidentally confuse/hurt him and I can't rely on Reason tweaking my nipples all the time.


At 6:19 AM, Blogger J-Co said...

I think "Save To Drafts" is a good philosophy for anything that requires communicating with other people. Or at least wait one hour, come back to it, see if you still want to never see that person again.


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