Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Quebec City Healing Vision

Shortly after my father died this spring and at the end of my mental rope, I took a break to Quebec City. This turned out to be very helpful to me and I knew that the trip was a success when I had the following vision (this is a favourite of JR)...

It all starts off in a shoe store. For some reason, the population of Quebec City has come to see me as a sort of Lord Durham- a hated anglo. In the shoe store, I ask to try on a nice pair of casual shoes. My own shoes are promptly taken off my feet and burnt and I have a hideous pair of pink stilettos shoved on. I am then pushed out the door to the employees glee.

(For those of you who may not know, walking in Quebec City is a challenge at the best of times, what with the hills, the cobblestones and horse dung...)

I'm traumatized and walking through the OId City when I come upon an elementary school on recess. The children see me and stop in their tracks, their faces becoming pale... basketballs drop, skipping ropes fall to the ground. In unison, the children all stare blankly at me and start morbidly chanting "Le Québec aux Québécois" with fists in the air. I'm frightened and try to run away, but the stilettos get caught in a cobblestone. I fall and get knocked out.

When I come to, I am invited onto a calèche. I enter, sobbing and scarred but am draped in furs trapped by husky coureurs de bois. For hours, I cry and smoke in the carriage. Many times, the driver tries to ask me to descend, but each time I mutter almost drunkenly, "encore une fois" and lazily throw money at him. The horse, either overwhelmed by, or annoyed with, my emotions decides to bolt. He gallops straight for the Museum of Civilization. The calèche smashes through the window of the museum and crashes into an empty display case. The calèche, complete with horse, driver and myself remain in the display for posterity, newly named "The Exhibit of Human Sadness".

After this, I knew I was on the road to recovery. Finally, I realized that my emotions were taking over way too much of my life... And I laughed intensely for the first time in ages. So thank you, Quebec City. Beaucoup. No more Québec talk for a while...


7 Comments:

At 3:16 AM, Blogger marty-loo said...

Genet, you are a genius, with or without pink stilettos.

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger PDD said...

I seriously have tears in my eyes. Especially clicking onto caleche. And lazily throwing money at him. Oh my god, It's too much laughter for me at the office.

Diddo to marty-lou's comment and addendum: This genius story should be the premise of a tv series, either for HBO or TVOntario. I'm not even joking. It's really entertaining!

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger hormonster said...

The visiuals are overwhelming - you with pink stilettos, a caleche and chain smoking. It all seems oddly normal for you.

xo

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger PDD said...

LOL!!

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger B-Dazzled said...

"Encore une fois"...hilarious!

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger JR said...

This is one of my favourite visions. What's more, it was recounted to me at 3am.

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger PDD said...

It's November 22nd and I had to scroll down and read this again, which makes it a total of 29 times.

I'm still laughing. And I think you are the most funny story teller. You really should write for a living. Whether it be "The Onion" or a sequel to Tim Burtons "Melencholy Death Of Oyster Boy." I could do the illustrations. Or Timmy could.

 

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