Friday, November 25, 2005

Where's Richard Smith?

I feel strange. Sad, angry and happy. If the break-up is for real, there will be a part of me that is relieved, somehow. Another part of me, however, will be very unhappy.

I'm listening to Final Fantasy's 'Has a Good Home' album, which kind of became me and the Boyf's soundtrack over the past few months and it is making me feel weird. At the moment, it feels as though it is the only connection to him that I have. I have this romantic idea that he is doing the same. I know that Juk's visit is distracting me from the situation and when he leaves, I think I will feel worse than I currently do. It is amazing how afairs of the heart are invariably cliché. A variation of this situation has been happening daily around the world for all of time. That's all fine and makes me feel connected to the human race, but I'm talking about me and not an abstraction. I'm torn, like Natalie Imbruglia... I want to call and I don't... I want to see him and I don't...

Lyric from Final Fantasy:

It took two years to win my heart
And two words to break it
They say heartbreak is good for the skin
But all that it's helped is my drinking.

I could fill up the lake
With all the things I didn't say
Had a good run, anyway

Yeah... I know.


At 12:15 AM, Blogger JR said...

There are no right or wrong decisions.

I love you and support you no matterz what.

At 10:00 AM, Blogger PDD said...

That's right.

I'm sorry for your pain. I say that with all sincerity. I know what you're feeling. Well, in my own way I do.

I'd like to see you soon, preferably before Kyoto leaves. This weekend was not a good go. For so many reasons I can not discuss here; you'd be reading for eternity.

P.S. - I think the boyf is being really selfish.

Talk soon

love you.



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