Thresholds

Last night I saw the ExBoyf for the first time in a while. I missed him and wanted to catch up, blah, blah. We met at his place, went out and returned to his hovel afterward. As far as I can recall, nothing traumatic happened...

...BUT THAT MEANS NOTHING BECAUSE I HAVE NO MEMORY OF THE EVENING.

I have been trying to remember where we went all morning and I can't. I have memories of the before and after but I seriously have zero idea where we were or what we did in between. Yes, I drank... quite a bit. Regardless, this lapse is not normal. I have tried to recall the venue for over three hours (!) and I really am clueless. We could have been on Uranus (you wish) or we could have gone to his local or we could have been on Queen Street. I have no idea. I think this black-out type event is related to the fact that I was nervous, had drinks, didn't eat and haven't slept properly... or because I'm a fat gay Greek-Canadian nerd that's into self-inflicting ridiculous problems. Whatever the cause, this is clearly not normal. WHERE WAS I? How astoundingly dumb does that question even sound?

Oh my gross... just to recap... I don't know where my own body was for a two hour period of time last night. Eww.

I remember going out and I vaguely remember smoking indoors, so it must have been a smoking room somewhere. But we didn't eat dinner together... Did we even leave his place?

This is fucking embarrassing... Do I ask him for clarification? I feel like a human garbage bag right now. The worst part is that I know that he is not having this "confusion". What a bitch. And I'm still feeling drunk, by the way. Glamorous, non? Fuck.