Thursday, June 29, 2006

Je le sais

Yes, I have been a bit absent of late. Apologies.

Went to Pride with the Boyf and had a hysterical time. It felt like there were over a million people this year and the vibe as always, was happy and horny.

We took many of our favourite type of photo- the randomly abandoned item photo. An example can be found above.

We also made very long Pride straws from which we drank copious amounts of alcohol from the Boyf's backpack. Combine that with the heat and we were plastered very early on and decided to head home for a BBQ. We dropped the pork tenderloin in the garden but were hungry and drunk, so we ate it anyway. Très gritty. Très classy.

The rest of the week has been banal, but last weekend was enough fun for a month.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

I like islands

Ummmm... I went to the Broken Social Scene concert on Olympic island tonight. Besides the fact that the music was incredible, the venue was fan-fucking-tastic. The weather was perfect, there was a gentle breeze and we were on an island minutes away from the Big Smoke. The view of the skyline was ridiculously beautiful, especially at sunset. The Boyf demonstrated uncharacteristic intelligence and had a friend take our photo against the gorgeous view, while some of my favourite music ever was being played. Tremendous.

Another highlight was the remarkable amount of hot men. I came 32,976 times. Some of them were sweaty. I love that. Being the owner of numerous fetishes, it was totally a field day for me with armpits, feet and bellies all around me. Fun, fun times.

But without a doubt, the best part was the general vibe. Despite the trek to get there and the numerous line-ups we had to endure, it seemed that the entire crowd was happy, relaxed and comfortable. Add incredible bands to that and really, there is no better way to spend a summer's day... Except, perhaps at Pride, which happens to be only a few hours away. But you already knew that.

Saturday, June 24, 2006


I usually miss the boat when it comes to civic festivals. And I don't feel very connected to the "gay community". But Pride is different for me. I actually get happy about it and although I know some of my friends are cynical and avoid it, I still find Pride Week to be beautiful. We are so lucky to live in a place where a homo celebration is a tradition that involves 1 million people, is sponsored by all levels of government and that the entire community has embraced. As I will demonstrate below, this makes me horny about life.

I love that I live in a city that I can comfortably kiss the Boyf in any part of the downtown and many parts of the suburbs. I love that homophobia is a social no-no now. I love that Pride has become an event for all Torontonians and that they look forward to it. I love that I can get hammered and run around kissing hundreds of men that are all happy and comfortable and safe and hot. I love that there are three Prides happening this year: on the east-side, in the west-end and downtown. I love that Pride has become a celebration because we have nothing serious to protest about domestically but I hate that there are places in the world where being a homo is still dangerous or difficult. But... again... I love that we have hundreds of thousands of people on the street showing the world that tolerance and equality is right and fun and that two faggots getting married does not change anything except their lives. I love living in a city where no hotel clerk bats an eyelash at two guys checking in for one bed. I love cheering for P-FLAG and seeing grannies at the parade with their lesbo granddaughters prancing around topless and pierced. And I love being queer and having no follow-up questions asked that require me to justify me existence. This city has come a long way since I was a teenager and it is likely the gayest city ever and I love it for that.

Toronto, sometimes I want to hump and french you.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Cue 'Golden Girls' Theme Song

I'm not in the mood to post, but am in the mood to share. As a compromise, I shall post lyrics. I have noticed that nobody comments on my lyric postings, but worse things have happened and I like lyrics. I rediscovered this song today and it is rare in that it is about friendship... I think. There are 17 billion songs about love in every language but friendship gets shafted. Not in this case. I profoundly love my friends so this song makes me happy.
Come on, let's go - Broadcast

You won't find it by your self

You're gonna need some help

And you won't fail with me around

Come on let's go

I will tell you if you change
And who's been saying things

It's hard to tell who is real in here

Come on let's go

You know who to turn to

Now everything's changed

Come on lets go

Stop looking for answers In everyone's face
Come on let's go

What's the point in wasting time

On people that you'll never know
Come on let's go

When you're looking for a friend

But it's empty at the end
When everybody's disappeared
You won't be alone

If you want I'll compensate
If you overestimate

So there's nothing left to fear

You won't be alone

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Irritated BBQ Rant

Last night, the Boyf and I hosted a BBQ for some friends of ours that we love. I think that it all went well. We had salmon and a variety of appetizers, but really for me, it's about the company. I myself enjoyed the convo and warmth. Zamboola was there, so it can't really get better.

Anyhow, the Boyf annoyed me. He didn't
do anything, but his occasional social awkwardness can be obnoxious. And he really has to learn how to tell time. Earlier in the afternoon, I felt like I was dating an autistic faggot. He spent hours cleaning the bathroom which is fantastically hygienic of him, but his obsession meant that I had to run to the grocery store, come back home, marinade the salmon, run to the liquor store, flower shop, convenience store, set up the evening with his limited equipment and pull it all together. And he was still cleaning the washroom after all that. Unless he has a new medical condition that I am not aware of, there was no need for that attention to detail and it drove me nuts. The bathroom was fucking clean and we weren't having a buffet in the bathtub.

I in no way was panicking about the evening, but things need to get done and when guests are arriving in 20 minutes, it's generally a good idea to have at least, oh I dunno, a napkin ready. When our friends did finally arrive, we were OK, but the Boyf's social weirdness meant that he would make random appearances interspersed with retreats into the house. Annoying, embarrassing and weird. Although we had a beautiful evening, I seriously wanted to throw him onto the barbecue and compost him. And I might just do that.

To mes amis: you are my emotional amants. To the Boyf: shhhh.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Ganja is gross

A friend of mine is visiting from Vancouver, a city I am not very fond of. Yes, it is beautiful and all, but not my kind of place. Ask JR.

Anyhow, this friend has become a pothead and brought weed with him for the trip. Last night, he was smoking it and I got severely high just by smelling it. I thought I was going to barf. We went to a club - because it is a novelty for him - and I actually fell asleep. I just left after a few minutes because I was so out of it and barfy.

How useless is that? If everyone reacted to pot the way I did, it's no wonder Vancouver can be so boring...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Every major cosmopolitan city needs one of these

And no, I don't mean the new Opera House.

Apparently, this strange little old man is either Greek, Italian or Portugese. Change the gender of his targets and there is the frightening potential that this is me in 50 years.

They don't know who he is but they know this - he's definitely strange and a possible danger to local women.
Toronto Police have issued a warning about a pervert they believe is behind a series of increasingly strange sexual assaults.

He comes up to his victims and introduces himself. He then offers to shake their hands.

But when the unsuspecting ladies good naturedly offer him theirs, he refuses to let go. He then kisses the startled females on both cheeks, licks their necks, claims he's their boyfriend and then leaves hurling numerous obscenities at them.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Plumber ass

Normally, one would be happy at the prospect of having an impromptu day off, especially on a Monday. This is what has happened to me today. However, I would much, much rather be at work.

Firstly, my co-workers make me happy and I look forward to seeing them. I also like to work on something then surf the web, work again, grab a bite, and so on. Adding to this, I have spent a large amount of time at home this weekend and could use an out.

Yoda has been fairly innocuous the past few days, so I can't complain about that. However, she is incredibly impatient and dramatic. We have had a problem with the plumbing outside which was manageable... but Yoda has flipped out about it. You would think that she was protesting some serious human rights violation like apartheid, but no, it's essentially a leaky hose. She insisted that I call a plumber because I'm useless with these things.

I woke up early to greet him and give Yoda's orders. He called at about 10 to tell me that he was lost whilst he was right around the corner, but I was intrigued by his voice and forgave him. At this point, I was fantasizing about a hot bimbo being in my house... Then, an hour passed and he was still lost. I could practically see his truck. Total turn off.

When he finally got here at noon (!), I expected him to simply fix the leak, leave and I could go to work. But no. Yoda suddenly discovered 65,873 plumbing problems and this (incidentally) ugly dumb-ass will be here all day.

Really, couldn't he at least be blowable? Or at least, could I have a basic understanding of why he is still here? Yoda's gone to nap and I'm hilariously confused by everything. I just keep picturing him drowning in the pool while I think he's simply plugging a leak. Maybe I'll push him in...

Friday, June 09, 2006

La la la

I'm back...

Much has happened, but it essentially comprises useless details. Nothing of note has transpired. I've been back at work since Monday, albeit in a strange mental state... I've hung out with the Boyf who is tremendously beautiful, JR came back from Vancouver with much the same thoughts of the place that I had when I visited in 2000.

Mostly, I've been feeling very tired, which must be related to my feelings of blah. I think I'm in serious need of a break in routine. Now.

Ummm... about that terrorist plot... ? Nothing could ever make me that angry. People need to calm down.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Sorry, y'all

It's been a while. My allergies and stress have had me really testy (I love that word) and tired lately. I'll be posting more regularly very soon. Hope you are all well.

Thursday, June 01, 2006


I totally have a hate on for everyone today. Even you. Sorry, but it's true.

You Could Use Me